Obituary of Sadie Brotherston Frame
Sadie was born in 1932, the youngest child in the Robertson family, on Islay, off the west coast of Scotland. She grew up there in straightened circumstances, as was the experience of most islanders in the depression and war years. After passing her 11+ she attended secondary school on the mainland in Dunoon, as a weekly boarder, taking the three hour ferry journey home at the end of each term.
She then attended the University of Glasgow where she obtained a teaching qualification. More significantly for her future life, she also met James (Jim) Frame.They first met on the back of a lorry during a charity fundraiser. Sadie was going out with someone else at the time, but the young charismatic medical student with a sense of adventure soon won her over.
They married in December 1954 at the University Chapel and had a grand total of five days together before Jim headed to a posting in Belize, as part of his medical national service. Sadie headed back to Islay to take up a short term teaching post in Bunnahabhain while they waited for permission for her to join him.
This duly came through and nine months later Sadie, who had never been further than Glasgow, headed off on a small military plane, in smart dress, hat and gloves, to join Jim in Belize. She remembered being greeted by a Colonel’s wife when refueling in Bermuda, who was impressed by her educated highlander accent (which never wavered even after sixty years in Canada). Said Colonel’s wife decided Sadie had the right stuff to be a military wife and took her under her wing to teach her the important essentials such as how to drink a martini.
The couple were soon after posted to Jamaica where eldest daughter Catriona (Trina) was born in 1956. Their time there was cut short when her father-in-law became seriously ill and they relocated back to Scotland to spend time in Edinburgh where second daughter Janice was born. After his father’s death, a conversation Jim had with another Scottish doctor who worked in Canada led to the suggestion that they emigrate there. By this time, Sadie was expecting daughter number 3, Gillian, who was born not long after their arrival in Canada.
They settled in Kingston, their first house being in Poplar Grove east of the city. Daughters Rhona and Sheelagh soon followed, completing the family.
Sadie took to Canadian life very quickly and never seriously considered living anywhere else. She loved the St Lawrence River in particular and after leaving Poplar Grove, always planned to move back near the river, something she achieved once more in her sixties.
She enjoyed being part of the medical, university and ex-pat Scottish communities and like many women of the era was content at the time not to work outside the home. Family life, with five daughters born in seven years, was busy. Engaging and sociable, with a natural charm and sparkle, she made friends easily.
Tragedy hit and upturned her world about a year after the family moved into their new build house in Seaforth Road. Jim had a massive fatal heart attack, aged only 42. Emotionally devastated, the 40 year old widow had to pull herself together for the sake of her daughters who ranged in age from 8 to 15. This she did, keeping the pain and struggle of it as far away from her daughters as she could, and helped by good friends who rallied around.
The second half of Sadie’s life then commenced and out of the tragedy she uncovered and developed strengths she never suspected she had. She was determined to raise her daughters in Canada even if returning to Scotland might have put her closer to extended family support. After trying going back to teaching, and realizing she really didn’t enjoy it, she decided to do something with her passion for houses and trained as a real estate agent.
This turned out to be the perfect job for her, and she threw herself into it, finding delight in getting to know her clients and helping them to find their ideal home. As a wife she had been the cautious one financially. As a widow, and independent businesswoman she learned to take risks. Her oft declared strategy when finances were tight was to redecorate something in her own house, which would then motivate her to earn another commission to pay for it!
She truly loved houses and had a gift for making her own environment both elegant and comfortable. Once her daughters were all independent and away from home, she realized her desire to live back East of the city again, buying a plot of land and then ten years later building a house co-designed by herself and daughter Janice. The house brought her daily joy, full of light, soothing neutral tones, textured fabrics, and the constant entertainment of the birds at the bird feeder. Finding the ‘right’ painting to hang on any given wall was always a satisfying project and she was content to spend weeks, even months finding the perfect one.
In addition to the joys of her own house, she loved living in Kingston. No day was complete without a good read of both the Whig Standard and the Globe and Mail so that she was up to date with local and national news. She worked until aged 72, eventually retiring and finding other projects and activities to fill her time such as volunteering at the Frontenac School Museum, playing bridge, joining Faith United church, going out for coffee with her multitude of friends, or enjoying a battle of wits with the chipmunks and squirrels who constantly raided the bird feeders. She enjoyed the arrival of four grandchildren, Sarah and James in Scotland, and Alex and Tim in Canada, and latterly three great grandchildren.
Stylish and immaculately groomed even in her nineties, she could also look like a mischievous four year old when she got one of her ‘notions’. Like many of us she embodied other contradictions. She disliked conflict, but had a clear opinion on the way things ‘should’ be and generally managed to make them so. Her daughters used to joke about the ‘Sadieverse’ which was the world the way their mum saw it.
She was an expert hostess, but one who didn’t truly enjoy cooking. She was very socially adept but would never choose to be the person up front or chairing a meeting. She enjoyed company but also the peace and tranquility of her own space. She loved the finer things in life, and for people to have good manners, but also enjoyed watching the rough and tumble of football and hockey games. “Oh isn’t he naughty” she would say with glee when a player ended up in the sin bin. She used Canadian expressions, but never lost her Islay accent.
Delicate of feature, she had a deceptive strength and resilience which helped her weather the ups and downs of a long life. Her life’s journey, from the stormy coasts of the Hebrides to the rocky shores of the St Lawrence, is now over. With sadness, but also with gratitude for a lifetime of memories, the family lay her now to rest.
